R.W. Loony California Ballot Recommendations

My friends, like a lot of you, I don't have time to read about all these candidates and initiatives, so I'm just posting my brother, L.W. "Left Wing" Loony's recommendations. Being a loyal, patriotic, God-fearing, homophobic, gun-loving, post-911 Republican, I just vote against everything he's for.

Governor	Jerry Brown	L.W. Says:	Not much thought required here. 30 years of selfless public service without the slightest hint of scandal. Governor (back when California had the best schools and the lowest recidivism rate in the world), Mayor of Oakland, Attorney General. Fights hard for campaign finance reform, the environment, and justice for all. As governor, sold the extravagant governor's mansion built by Reagan and lived in a one bedroom apartment. Owns a black lab. What more do you need to know?
		R.W. Says:	My friends, why would you want some one who has spent their life as a public servant to be governor? Especially some one that has already demonstrated that he has the skills to be an excellent governor. If only we could elect another bad actor as gubernator! Fortunately, we Republicans have something even better: two mud-caked billionaires, Poizner and Whitman. Both have spent millions trying to convince voters that they are the true tea-bagger and their opponent is merely a TBINO (Tea-Bagger In Name Only). Hard to tell who's more anti-choice, more anti-environment, more pro-gun, or more anti-Hispanic. Heck, the only thing they disagree on is some water bond. I just want to see an ad where one of them uses an AR-15 to shoot an illegal alien. The first candidate that does that has got my vote.
Lieutenant Governor	Gavin Newsom	L.W. Says:	Mayor of San Francisco. Something you never see any more: conservative with principles. He fought Proposition Hate, introduced curbside pickup of compostable waste, and cleaned up San Francisco.
		R.W. Says:	My friends, we don't need "principled conservatives", we need genuine wacko, foaming at the mouth, paranoid-schizophrenic, voices-hearing conservatives. Sam Aanestad is our man. An experienced oral surgeon, he'll give California what it needs: a root canal without anesthetic. Not sure if that's before or after the tea-bagging. And he promises to amend the state constitution to outlaw all abortions. NRA Legislator of the year! Why isn't he running for governor?
Secretary of State	Debra Bowen	L.W. Says:	She's done well in a job no sane person would want. Which probably explains her Republican opponents.
		R.W. Says:	My friends, my brother's insistence that we elect competent people to office is discriminatory and downright un-American. Just what you'd expect from a liberal elitist. I was all set to vote for Damon Dunn. He's a member of that very exclusive club: Republicans of African American heritage. He wants dark-skinned people to show their papers before voting. He'll make businesses that leave California go through exit interviews (that'll make them think twice). He's a licensed Baptist minister and member of the Saddleback Church. Played for the America's Team, the Cowboys, instead of the socialist California football teams. And he's vehemently anti-choice and anti-gay. But then I learned of the enchanting Orly Taitz. Not only is she an attorney, she's also a dentist and leader of the birther movement. Do her friends call her "Orally"? Loves suing people, including her opponent Damon Dunn, claiming he's not a real Republican (how could he be? he's a schwarzer!) Believes Fox News is owned by the Saudis (why else would Bill O'Reilly call her a nut?) Seems to believe that as far as lawsuits are concerned, it's quantity, not quality that matter: Fined $20,000 for willful violation of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. Fined $10,000 for abuse of judicial process. Also in trouble for possibly suborning perjury. Complaints to the bar from clients complaining of "reprehensible and unprofessional actions". Once Orly gets to be Secretary of State, she can disqualify all her challengers without wasting time in court, kind of like the good old days in her native Moldova. My friends, Orly Taitz is obviously the victim of a vast left-wing conspiracy, because the liberal elites know she is the future of the Republican party. Go get 'em Orally!
Controller	John Chang	L.W. Says:	Running unopposed for the Democratic nomination. No wonder, this has got to one of the world's worst jobs. Maybe Mike Rowe should take it on for a day.
		R.W. Says:	My friends, we Republicans have an excellent alternative: Tony Strickland, funding raising chairman for Meg Whitman. Obviously, with Tony as her controller, Meg can treat the state treasury as her personal piggy bank. I think that's what she means when she says she wants to be CEO of California. Tony is fervently anti-choice, so take that, all you tea-baggers that think Meg isn't anti-choice enough. I haven't been able to find out much about the other candidate, David Evans, except that he's a flight instructor and a CPA. Hope he doesn't decide to fly away with the state treasury.
State Treasurer	Bill Lockyer	L.W. Says:	Another miserable job, but admirably handled by Bill. Since he's not giving up on us (unlike Sarah Palin), I'm not giving up on him.
		R.W. Says:	My friends, once again my brother's insistence on competence blinds him to the superior candidate, Mimi Walters, author and chief proponent of proposition 90, the slumlord protection initiative. Like all real Republicans, Mimi has impeccable anti-choice credentials and hates Spanish-speaking people, even though she once took Spanish classes. And, like most tea-baggers, she has trouble making up her mind as to who she wants as governor: she was for Poizner before she was against him.
Attorney General	Kamala Harris	L.W. Says:	This was a difficult decision for me, but I have to go with Kamala Harris, the really hot San Francisco DA. She kicks ass and takes names. We need more Tamil-Jamaican-American DAs, especially if they look like Kamala. The other Democratic candidates: Rocky Delgadillo, famous for securing a conviction in the Pee Wee Herman case. Blamed his wife for crashing his city-issued car and using city employees as baby-sitters. Ted Lieu, strong supporter of public transit and new football stadiums, actually has a strong and sensible record of accomplishment in the California Assembly. Chris Kelley, a Facebook privacy officer (is that an oxymoron?) with a really cool web page--- he wants to friend you. Unfortunately, no experience as a prosecutor, but he has worked with the attorneys general of all fifty states. Not sure that "being sued by" is exactly the same as "working with". Maybe he's a fine candidate, but his attacks on Kamala Harris make crazy. Why can't he spend his money attacking Republican candidates? Pedro Nava has impeccable credentials as an environmentalist, a prosecutor, and a legislator. Kept a Texas oil company from fouling our beaches with oil. Mike Schmier is a dedicated employee rights attorney--- he hasn't got a prayer. Finally, Alberto Torrico, Assembly Majority Leader. He's Hispanic and he's Japanese-American. Also has an impressive list of legislative accomplishments. A committed centrist, Arnold has signed 32 of the 47 measures he's introduced into law. Enthusiastically supported by cops and firefighters. .
		R.W. Says:	My friends, my elitist brother thinks that the Attorney General should have some experience as a prosecutor. Nonsense, I say! But if you insist, we do have one Republican candidate who is an actual DA: Steve Cooley, the LA DA. He's not afraid to call juries "incredibly stupid" when he loses, even when liberal elitists say the case he presented was "incredibly bad". He's not afraid to prosecute Democratic politicians and medical marijuana. I'm sure he would go after Republican politicians just as aggressively if only he could find some in LA. The only bad things about Steve are his suggestions that "Jessica's Law" might not have the intended consequences and his prosecution of deadbeat Dads. My friends, if we are to defeat the communist islamosexual agenda, we must all think with one mind and we can't prosecute dedicated tea-baggers just because they fall behind on their child support payments. My friends, John Eastman is the only sensible choice for real Republicans. I know, many of you have pointed out that John works at the Claremont Institute – a rightwing, "think tank"; "progressive" (i.e. "communist") in that it thinks conservatives should embrace Lincoln. I guess he represents the anti-slavery wing of the Republican party, but is that really so terrible? And he's never worked as a prosecutor, even though he tried to claim that he had. But, my fellow tea-baggers, John has fought hard to win us over: he says he'll fight for our rights to discriminate against people of color and gays, he'll put spend more money we don't have to keep non-violent offenders in prison, he'll fight the legalization of marijuana, he'll fight women's rights, he'll fight taxes, he'll fight the environment, he'll fight education, he'll fight working people, he'll fight to protect corporations, hell, he'll fight anything that walks or breathes or crawls on its belly or swims in the sea or thinks for itself. Can't wait for the youtube video. I guess he's going for the UFC/MMA vote. And he's the favorite of anti-choice voters. Lastly, we have Tom Harman. Tea-baggers call him "tax hike Tom" because he proposed taxes on disposable diapers and SUVs. Then he voted to teach global warming in public schools! He tried, unsuccessfully, to have his occupation listed on the ballot as "Prosecutor". Apparently, thinking about volunteering in the DA's office is not the same as actually being a prosecutor. Who knew?
Insurance Commissioner	Hector De La Torre	L.W. Says:	Hector De La Torre. Incorruptible, committed to improving access to healthcare, endorsed by nurses, doctors, firefighters, and the League of Conservation Voters. Dave Jones is also a strong candidate. Started his career by spending six years as a legal aid attorney. Either candidate would be great and a huge improvement over insurance industry toady Poizner.
		R.W. Says:	My friends, in this contest we have fight for the heart and soul of the Republican party. For the anti-choice crowd, we have Mike Villines. But the tea-baggers hate him because he dared to seek a budget compromise, so maybe we should go with Brian Fitzgerald. I don't really know much about Brian, except that he has worked for the California Department of Insurance for over 16 years and he says he won't accept contributions from insurance companies. How's he supposed to regulate the insurance industry if he won't accept their contributions??? Does he realize that he's running as a Republican??? What's a tea-bagger to do?
U.S. Senate	Barbara Boxer	L.W. Says:	My favorite Senator. Can always be counted on to fight the good fight for peace, justice, and the American way. She may be tiny, but she kicks ass. The kind of politician we used to have, you know, the ones who'd rather be right than president. Sad to think she'll probably be retiring just 6 years from now. Those will be some mighty big shoes to fill.
		R.W. Says:	My friends, Chuck DeVore is the only possible choice for Senate. He the favorite of tea-bagger's. He's never met an oil company or oil well he didn't love. Anti-gay, anti-choice, anti-consumer, pro-assault weapons, anti-environment, anti-California. You don't get any more "Real Republican" than Chuck. He fought hard for endorsement from anti-choice extremists, but they went with Carly in spite of his pleading. Idiots. Much to the dismay of tea-baggers everywhere, Sarah Palin and my anti-choice friends love Carly Fiorina. And how can any Real Republican not admire some one who slept her way from receptionist to CEO, then ran HP into the ground and managed to avoid indictment for illegal wiretapping? Lastly, we have Tom Campbell. Defended Sami "Death to Israel" Al-Arian, then decided he'd made a mistake. He's tried to redeem himself by endorsing the AZ "show me your papers" law, but we all know he's a RINO. If we can't have a Real Republican Senator, we might as well just re-elect Barbara Boxer.
Democratic Central Committee 76^th Assembly District	Lori Soldaña	L.W. Says:	I haven't had time to find out about the rest of these folks, but I know I like Lori.
		R.W. Says:	As a Republican, I don't get to vote for the Democratic Central Committee. Will that change if Proposition 15 passes? As far as the Republican Central Committee, who cares?
Judge of the Superior Court, Office No. 14	Lantz Lewis	L.W. Says:	Rated "well qualified" by the San Diego Bar Association.
		R.W. Says:	Just because the San Diego Bar Association says Craig Candelore is "lacking in qualifications", doesn't mean he couldn't be a great judge. After all he is endorsed by the Republican party and the National Coalition of Free Men (he got their award for Excellence in the Advancement of Men’s Issues) and bettercourtsnow.com, dedicated to unifying the "moral" vote and "filling our lower courts with like-minded religious and political conservatives".
Judge of the Superior Court, Office No. 20	Richard Monroy	L.W. Says:	Rated "well qualified" by the San Diego Bar Association. Endorsed by the San Diego Union.
		R.W. Says:	Jim Miller is the pick of the Republican Party. He didn't get the nod from "Better Courts Now", in spite of his "lacking in qualifications" rating from the San Diego Bar Association.
Judge of the Superior Court, Office No. 21	Robert Longstreth	L.W. Says:	Endorsed by the San Diego Union and the Democratic Party. Rated "well qualified" by the San Diego Bar Association.
		R.W. Says:	Bill Trask is endorsed by Republican party and bettercourtsnow.org, rated as "lacking in qualifications" by the San Diego Bar Association.
Judge of the Superior Court, Office No. 27	De Ann Salcido	L.W. Says:	The San Diego Bar Association rated Salcido as "lacking in qualifications", but her opponent, Harold Coleman, got an "unable to evaluate", but still got the endorsement of the Republican Party and bettercourtsnow.com. I've got this lawyer acquaintance downtown who says "They're both IDIOTS, but Salcido has better instincts, as long as she's not off her meds." Sounds like a ringing endorsement to me.
		R.W. Says:	And what's wrong with that?
Judge of the Superior Court, Office No. 34	Joel Wohlfeil	L.W. Says:	Endorsed by the San Diego Democratic Party. Rated "well qualified" by the San Diego Bar Association.
		R.W. Says:	Larry "Jake" Kincaid, endorsed by Republican party and, of course, bettercourtsnow.com, rated "lacking in qualifications".
State Superintendent of Public Instruction	Gloria Romero	L.W. Says:	We seem to have two excellent candidates in Gloria Romero and Tom Torlakson. Both are Democrats, both are endorsed by the CLCV, and both seem totally dedicated to repairing our educational system. I'm going with Gloria because she seems to more willing to attempt bigger changes and because the mailers supporting Tom not only attack Gloria, but also seem to be riddled with mistakes. So whoever is doing his mailers gets an "F".
		R.W. Says:	My friends, why vote for a well qualified candidate when you can vote for a Republican? We have excellent Republican candidates for this office: Diane Lenning, former chair of the Republican Educators Caucus (no L.W., that is not an oxymoron or a typo. She's endorsed by the Conservative Educators Caucus, so we know she's committed to improving our science curriculum by removing those pesky references to evolution and global warming and science. Whatever you do, don't vote for Faarax Dahir Sheikh-Noor. He speaks five languages and teaches math and statistics, so he's obviously a communist. Karen Blake blames the liberal, islamosexual agenda for our failing schools, and she's a geologist, so she can find oil on our schoolyards. Oil derricks make wonderful jungle gyms.
San Diego San Diego Unified School District Member	John De Beck	L.W. Says:	Scott Barnett is a Republican "budget analyst", whatever that is. John De Beck is a retired teacher. No contest.
San Diego Assessor-Recorder	David Butler	L.W. Says:	This position pays $199,139/year! Still, I can't really think of any reason not to re-elect David Butler. Butler is endorsed by the San Diego Gay and Lesbian Times, if that's important to you. Jeff Olson, who currently works in the Assessor's office, is endorsed by the San Diego Republican party, so that makes me suspicious of him. Dronenberg is spending at least $100,000 of his own money to win the job, so you'd think he could afford to work for a lower salary (but he won't). Maybe I should just vote for Howard Johnson so there'll be one less unemployed person in San Diego.
		R.W. Says:	My friends, Republican party says vote for Jeff Olson. Must obey the party. Must not question.
San Diego Sheriff	Bill Gore	L.W. Says:	I wasn't a big fan of Bill Gore until I saw the NRA ad attacking him for not giving out enough concealed weapons permits and for enforcing laws against militia groups and sawed-off shotguns. Not sure this means his opponents would hand out concealed weapons permits willy-nilly or give free rein to militia groups, but why take a chance?
		R.W. Says:	My friends, we all know that guns don't kill people. And the more wackos you have running around with concealed weapons, the fewer people get shot. And tax cuts for the wealthy will trickle down to the little people. We Republicans hold these truths to be self-evident. If Bill Gore wants to "follow the law" instead of the NRA, then he's no Republican and I'm not voting for him.
San Diego Treasurer-Tax Collector	William Betts	L.W. Says:	I don't know anything about Betts beyond his candidate statement, but R.W. Loony and the Republican Party endorse Betts' opponent. Besides, I kind of like Betts' idea of eliminating fees for charging your real estate tax. See, R.W., just because the San Diego Gay and Lesbian Times endorses some one, doesn't mean I'll automatically vote for that person. And what's with McAllister double billing for our property taxes?
		R.W. Says:	My friends, I don't like Dan McAllister because twice a year I have to send him checks. Nevertheless, he is endorsed by the Republican Party, so I must vote for him. It is my duty as a Real American. However, I must say that I am deeply troubled that a Republican would choose to be a tax collector.
San Diego City Council, District No. 2	Patrick Finucane	L.W. Says:	Endorsed by the San Diego Democratic Party, National Organization for Women, San Diego League of Conservation Voters, San Diego Democratic Club, Point Loma Democratic Club, San Diego Uptown Democrats, San Diego County Young Democrats, and San Diego County Stonewall Young Democrats. Plus he's an engineer. Good enough for me.
		R.W. Says:	Just because Kevin Faulconer pushed for subsidies for valet parking companies and wanted to ban fishing in Ocean Beach, doesn't mean he hasn't been a great city councilman. Only the best councilors get the Republican party endorsement.
Proposition 13. Seismic Retrofits	YES	L.W. Says:	Doesn't seem to be anyone on the right or left who's against this. Passed the assembly and senate by unanimous vote. Seems reasonable that seismic retrofits shouldn't trigger tax increases until the property is sold. Why do we even need to vote on this?
		R.W. Says:	My friends, I fear our Republican representatives have lost their way. Government has no business interfering in the free market by providing discounts to wimps who want to make their buildings survive earthquakes. Real Republicans know that the invisible hand of the market is the only seismic retrofit anyone needs. Vote no and stop the advance of the communist earthquake agenda.
Proposition 14. Wide Open Primary, No Write-ins	NO	L.W. Says:	This is a weird one. Proposed by the Gropenführer's man Abel Maldonado and approved by the assembly and senate, but opposed by both the Democratic and the Republican parties. I guess I have to agree: I don't think it's a good idea, or even constitutional, to forbid write-in candidates. Seems to tilt the playing field away from political parties and toward wealthy candidates, not much of an improvement, IMHO.
		R.W. Says:	My friends, I fear that once again our beloved but much reviled Republican representatives have lost their way. What's so wrong with tilting the playing field in favor of wealthy candidates? Why can't we just do away with the Democratic concept of elections entirely and go with eBay auctions? Just put the offices and ballot initiatives up on eBay and who ever bids the most, wins? With all the money Meg Whitman would make, she could buy the presidency. That, my friends, would be true democracy in action.
Proposition 15. Public Financing for Secretary of State Election	YES	L.W. Says:	I like the idea of taxing lobbyists to pay for elections. A small, but perhaps significant first step toward lessening the power of wealthy special interest groups. Amazing how difficult it is to work around activist judges who think that money equals free speech and that corporations have more rights than people.
		R.W. Says:	What? Taxing lobbyists? That's communism! First they came for the lobbyists, then they came for the insurance companies.... My friends, we need to run California like a corporation, where one dollar equals one vote. And didn't the Clarence Thomas five just say that
Proposition 16. PG&E Competition Elimination	NO	L.W. Says:	PG&E, the folks Erin Brockovich sued for poisoning the citizens of Hinkley, now want a permanent monopoly on electric power. Just how stupid does PG&E think we are???
		R.W. Says:	PG&E took in more than $13 BILLION last year, so I think they know a little bit more about the electricity business than my brother. Why shouldn't we reward PG&E with a monopoly? Their stock is going to the moon (along with your electric rates)! Buy it now!
Proposition 17. Auto Insurance Rate Hikes	NO	L.W. Says:	What a great idea: let insurance companies raise your rates if opt to go without car insurance while you are serving your country in Afghanistan. Maybe we should just call it the "screw our veterans" initiative. Was this Poizner's brainchild?
		R.W. Says:	There you go again, criticizing insurance companies just for being successful and raking in billions in profits. Why shouldn't we give them the opportunity to squeeze a few more dollars from military families? I support this measure, but it doesn't go nearly far enough: auto insurance companies should be able to charge you more if own a bicycle, even more if you ride a bicycle or a horse, or if you walk more than two blocks a week. In the last two years, there's been an alarming increase in the number of bicyclists. And you know what, my friends? These communist bicyclists are not required to buy auto insurance! This dire threat to the profits of auto insurance companies must be crushed!
San Diego County Proposition A: Otay Mesa Recycling Center and Landfill	YES	L.W. Says:	Obviously, we need more landfill and recycling, so I don't see how any sane person could oppose this proposition. I just wish this proposition including more incentives for recycling.
		R.W. Says:	What do you mean "obviously"? Recycling is a communist fascist plot! A landfill on the border will make it easier for Mexicans to sneak into the United States! We don't need another landfill in San Diego, not when we can just dump our trash over the border wall.
San Diego County Proposition B: County Commissioner Term Limits	YES	L.W. Says:	News flash: The Republican Party now says "term limits have made the state legislature dysfunctional". Maybe the reason Republicans are so grumpy is their party has given them whiplash with its constant flip-flopping. I'm glad that Republicans have finally figured out that term limits are a stupid idea, but maybe once every 20 years or so we should have a new county commissioner.
		R.W. Says:	Term limits for Republicans? Only an un-American fascist socialist communist would suggest such a thing.
San Diego Proposition D: Strong Mayor	NO	L.W. Says:	I haven't noticed the city running any better with a strong mayor. I think we need a more narrow proposition that limits the power of the city manager, but doesn't remove the limit on the mayor's pay, give the mayor a veto, or hide the mayor's actions from the public. Why can't we just vote on giving the mayor the Article V, VII, and IX powers, make the mayor's actions subject to approval by a majority of the city council and call it a day?